Am I happy?
I don’t know
It’s hard to feel some feelings
The lower you go
Deeper into life
Further into truth
When you’re not distracted
Like you were in your youth
Or when your spirit sits still
In the muck and the mire
And your hands are busy tending
To your own holy fire
Maybe I am happy
Just not amused
Aren’t those feelings
What we often confuse
Perhaps, happiness has levels
We forgot were there
And at the root of laughter
There is godly fear
Isn’t fear what we need
And what we should desire
To become our best selves
Before we expire
The beginning of wisdom
Is not happiness but fear
Shouldn’t this truth change
Everything we hold dear
What if we pursued wisdom
With all our heart, soul and mind
Wouldn’t that show how desperate
We were for her to find
Wouldn’t you rather know the one
Who protects your way
Gives knowledge and understanding
Keeps you from fully venting your rage
I think if we had wisdom
Wouldn’t we see
Just how little happiness
We really do need
Maybe happiness is like a bird
Who flys into our day
Dances around for a bit
And then moves on his way
Not too much
Just a dab will do
Because it cast shadows
Where joy shines through
Has the pursuit of happiness
Caught us in a web
Perpetually spinning
So we can’t move ahead
In trying to feel happy
Do we expect to find rest
But aren’t we exhausted
Trying to pass some feeling test
If we thought of happiness
Like a part of a song
Would we just sing the verse
Then move right along
Pleasures are nice
But they’re not what we need
To imitate Truth
Or grow the mustard seed
Is happiness anything more
Than a temporary high
That we can stop chasing
Before we die
I want wisdom
More than some
I need her desperately
To follow the Son
Do I want to be happy?
Who really knows
I guess if it naturally occurs
When I’m writing my prose.
DeeAnnDean/October 3, 2020
DeeAnn Dean 