Excerpt from Let Food Be Thy Gift
Who are you listening to?
Advice detached from love, truth and intimate relationships is easy to market, sell and consume because it tastes and feels good. But it does little to provide the deep nourishment that we desperately need to live as we are designed, to be healthy human beings, to be a healthy humans doing, to discover our talents and skills, to courageously follow our call and to trust the process of life. In fact, consuming too much advice leads to confusion, malnourishment and can even distract us from the truth that we desperately need to grow and flourish.
I would have liked to say that I have never been much of an advice taker but when I look back over my life, it is easy to see that I followed a lot of advice, trusted a lot of people, obeyed many man-made doctrines and looked to results, industries and institutions to tell me who I was and what I should do with my spirit, heart, mind and body. As I write this, I am cringing as I think about how easy I accepted and followed advice that was disconnected from truth and love. I cringe even more when I think about how much advice I gave detached from love and truth, and without an intimate relationship with those I arrogantly and ignorantly gave advice to.
Think about where advice comes from and how easily we trust people who we do not know and who do not know us, and think about how we have allowed industries, institutions, mass media and celebrities to dictate what we do, how we feel, what we think and who we are. Can you see that we have allowed deep access to our spirits, hearts, minds and bodies without the commitment, concern, care and compassion that only comes through real relationships?
Take a moment and consider the deep relationship that is needed to give and receive truth and love. Now, think about what kind of relationship is needed to market and consume advice, and why we allow all these people, who do not know or love us, to give us advice. There was a time when I realized that I desperately needed truth and love. Yet, my relationships could only support the giving and receiving of advice. Consequently, in discovering my need and that I was lost, I also discovered that I had no hope of finding my way because I was disconnected from the people and places where truth and love lives, breaths, listens, asks, looks and moves to give and receive help, hope and a hand to hold onto.
Truthfully, our culture is overflowing with advice. Why? Because advice is pithy, marketable and quite easy to produce and it requires nothing- no relationship and no responsibility from either the giver of receiver of advice. Even though advice is powerless to create change, it is not neutral. Advice distracts us from committing and investing ourselves, our time and energy in relationships where we can give and receive our time, talents and truths. Furthermore, advice keeps us from remembering who we are and how we are naturally designed to be encouraged, educated, inspired, guided and cared for in real relationships with real people.
I want you to remember that advice does not have what it takes to transform us but relationships do. Relationships are the only place where we can receive truth and love, and from time to time-give and receive advice. As we learn to live, move and have our being in these loving relationships, we are transformed.
Forget the f..&%ing advice…
Amazing things come from a community of men and women who commit to care for one another and who take the time to be together and love each other. We can create the space to remember who we are and how we are naturally designed to become our best selves through the receiving and giving of love and truth. We can cleanse ourselves from all this superficial and super ridiculous advic,e and create the space for truth, love and the friendships that we are designed for and that we need to be healthy and whole human beings.